"A god steps down from the mountain.He walks throught the dark forest.There are wild beasts everywhere in the silent darkness.It must be real.I'm not dreaming.I'm telling the truth.Now I'm in one world, now in the other.I can't stop it."
There is no way to avoid the mess. The mess you made of your life, of your body, of your sanity, by giving everything you have to pleasing people you will never know. Do you like this life? This life that you dreamed about?